


Eagle

by Whymsical



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Amnesia, Explicit Language, Guns, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Memory Loss, POV Alternating, gently inspired by jason bourne, here and there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-06-23 09:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15603813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whymsical/pseuds/Whymsical
Summary: “The man you're looking for is about 5’9” in height. He has blond hair and green eyes… He needs to be eliminated quickly, but quietly.”





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This already went up on my writing tumblr ([literallyusuk](http://literallyusuk.tumblr.com/), for the interested), but I decided to put it up here since I'm going to expand it.
> 
> This came to me while I was watching the Jason Bourne film and it's quite a bit different to my usual stuff, but I hope it's enjoyable nonetheless!

“You have your orders.”

“It’ll be done.”

“Good. I’m counting on you, Eagle.” The connection went dead.

Eagle checked his weapons one last time. Knife in his shoe and up his sleeve. Double holster at his hip, hidden under his jacket. A pistol at the small of his back, just in case. He slung his jacket on and left the hotel room, tossing the keycard into a bin on his way down the stairs.

The streets were crowded due to lunchtime rush, but Eagle slipped through the throng effortlessly. He moved like water, shoulders and core ever moving to avoid contact with anyone else. Blue eyes swept from side to side, never lingering on one person too long. Five minutes’ brisk walking took him to the specified location.

_“The target uses an alleyway as a shortcut each day between twelve fifteen and twelve twenty-five. This alleyway has been observed vacant ninety-five percent of the time the target has walked through it. The man you are looking for is about 5’9” in height. He has blond hair, green eyes, and frequently wears long coats. He needs to be eliminated quickly, but quietly. Do not engage if you are not alone.”_

Eagle slipped into the alleyway. It wasn’t a particularly dark or narrow passage, but long enough that sound was muffled to both street openings. Plenty of nice shadows, too. Eagle chose a particularly deep patch and waited. His breaths were quiet through his mouth as he waited, and his left hand rested on the butt of his gun.

Footsteps.

Eagle recognized the target immediately from the coat. Long, as promised, and a deep hunter green. His head was tilted down against the autumn chill, but even in that position his hair was a mess. Eagle thought it looked soft, could almost feel-

**Pulse.**

“Ngh-” Eagle’s breath caught, and he shut his eyes against the pain. His right hand clenched at his side until the feeling faded.

When he looked up, the target was about fifteen feet away. He stepped out from the shadows and raised his gun. His target walked two more steps before noticing him and stopping, his green eyes wide at the gun and wider still as he raised them to Eagle’s face.

“A-Alfred?” he breathed out.

Eagle’s finger froze on the trigger.

**P u l s e.**

“Is that you?” The target’s voice trembled with every word, and agony lingered in those green, green eyes. “They- They told me you were dead-” His voice cut off with a choking sound. He took a step closer.

The tip of the gun trembled.

“Oh God, Alfred, I thought I’d lost you forever…” The target paused, his brows furrowing. “You don’t remember me? Please, love. It’s me, it’s-”

**_P  u l  s  e._ **

Eagle’s earpiece came to life.  _“What are you waiting for? Kill him!”_

“-thur! I still love you!”

Eagle took a step back, his eyes screwing shut. His head was pounding and his breath came in short pants. He could see an apartment in his mind. Sleek and modern, but with rustic accessories. The targ-  _Arthur_  on a barstool, a cup of tea in front of him and a small cat on his lap. He was smiling ever so slightly, but the affection was clear. The vision blurred and then Eagle opened his eyes to see Arthur’s pale and frightened face. He was still talking, but Eagle couldn’t hear the words over the rushing in his ears.

_“Eliminate him, Eagle, he is the biggest threat to this agency!”_

Eagle took in a breath, and the world around him calmed again.

“Alfred, please, please don’t do this…”

Alfred adjusted the gun and pulled the trigger.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'I'll have the next part up soon!' I said....like 2 and a half months ago. Whoops. But here we are!!
> 
> Also my friend described the first part as 'i mean it looks like an intro to an au where you start off getting punched in the face and have to pick up the pieces if Arthur didn't just get shot dead lmao' and...fair. Very fair.
> 
> Enjoy! : D

* * *

Five Years Earlier

* * *

 

_Arthur woke to an empty bed. When he reached over, the sheets on Alfred’s side of the mattress were cold. The air was still and the apartment quiet. He stretched, frowning as he slipped from the bed._

_“Alfred?” he asked softly._

_There was no reply._

_The Brit padded slowly down the hall, unsurprised at the sight that greeted him once he’d reached the small living room. Alfred sat on the floor in front of the couch, half-asleep over a cup of cold coffee. His laptop sat on the coffee table before him. No fewer than five documents were pulled up on the screen._

_“Alfred.”_

_“Huh- Oh.” Alfred jolted and tensed, though his body relaxed when he recognized the figure. “Hey. Good morning.”_

_“It’s not,” Arthur said as he made his way to stand next to the table, his arms crossed over his chest._

_Alfred blinked, his mind sluggishly trying to comprehend the statement. “It’s…not? Why not?”_

_“Because I woke up without you.”_

_“Art, I’m sorry-”_

_“We came to Paris to get away from it all. I know it eats at you, but please, for this week try not to think about it? Just this week.”_

_“It’s just so fishy,” Alfred muttered, his eyes sliding back to the laptop. “My dad’s death doesn’t feel like an accident, and then he leaves me all this stuff on a flash drive? There’s something here, something big-”_

_Arthur knelt next to him. “Love, you promised.”_

_Alfred’s shoulders slumped. “I know. M’sorry. My head was buzzing with it all at like five in the morning and I thought I could just look at it for a few hours and then get back into bed. I guess time got away from me.”_

_“Again,” Arthur said, though his voice held no real bite._

_“Again.” Alfred grinned sheepishly. He reached over and closed all of the documents, then shut the lid of the laptop. “There. No more looking at it while we’re here. You can lock it up if you’d like.”_

_Arthur chuckled. “I don’t think we have to resort to quite such drastic measures, but I appreciate the sentiment.” He smiled, and a soft flush rose to his cheeks as Alfred pressed a few small kisses to his hand. “Why don’t we do something romantic tonight to make up for it?”_

_“That sounds fun.” Alfred’s blue eyes gleamed as he trailed kisses up to Arthur’s elbow. “I’m gonna go all out, blow you off your feet cuz of how romantic it’s gonna be.”_

_“Oho, I look forward to that.”_

_“But first…”_

_“But first?”_

_Alfred grabbed Arthur and lifted him into his arms as he stood, laughing at his boyfriend’s squeak of surprise. “But first, I’m gonna make sure you’re well sated before we go out for the day,” he said with a wolfish grin._

_“My, how forward,” Arthur purred, smiling back as he pressed his face into the crook of Alfred’s neck. “What will the neighbours think, it’s not even eight in the morning.”_

_Alfred snorted. “This is France, they’re probably used to worse.”_

_Two hours later, they were both very sated indeed as they left the bed to shower and dress._

_“Breakfast at the café?” Alfred asked as he towelled off his hair._

_“That sounds lovely. Shall we go on an adventure afterwards?”_

_Alfred’s eyebrow shot up. “An adventure?”_

_“Yes.” Arthur stepped up to him, reaching up to run his fingers through the taller blond's hair. “You know, one of those wanderlust wanderings straight from social media or romance novels. We’ll pick a direction and just walk, or jump on a random bus and go as far as we can.”_

_Eyes closing softly at the touches, Alfred nosed against his cheek. “That sounds like a lotta fun.”_

_“I’m glad you think so.” Arthur’s smile was wolfish as he took hold of Alfred’s hand and tugged him from the apartment. “Let’s go, love.”_

_Their breakfast at the café was a quick one, with both Alfred and Arthur raring to go on their ‘adventure’. It reminded them of their university days, and the time they got truly lost in New York City. Though that day had been filled with stress for Arthur, who was still new to America in general, by the end of it they had discovered a handful of hidden gems of shops and places to eat. Their fledgling relationship had only been strengthened by that day spent together. Arthur was sure this day would end up going just as well._

_The clock had just struck three in the afternoon when they took a break from walking at a tucked-away brasserie. Arthur had been drawn in by the vines and flowers seeming to encompass the front of the restaurant, while Alfred liked the industrial and sleek aesthetic. They were down a quiet side street, with only a bookstore and a flower shop nearby. They both knew where they were headed next, and Arthur glanced in the direction of the bookshop every so often even as he was perusing the menu._

_“If you keep vibrating like that, you won’t be able to get your fork to your mouth,” Alfred teased as he watched._

_Heat rose to Arthur’s cheeks and he reached out beneath the table to kick at Alfred’s shin. “Shut it. I’m just curious about what we’ll find there.”_

_“I’m sure there’ll be something real good there for you, babe. Maybe it’s been waiting there for like twenty years for you.” Alfred’s eyes twinkled behind his glasses._

_“Now wouldn’t that be romantic,” Arthur murmured, smiling._

_“Oh? Is my place at your side being threatened by a dead tree?”_

_“Hmm, I don’t know.” Arthur feigned disinterest and turned his head so he could look at Alfred coyly out of the corner of his eye. His grin widened at the pout that appeared on the other man’s face. “It depends on whether the dead tree is rare, or perhaps first edition. Wouldn’t that be exciting?”_

_Alfred puffed his cheeks out momentarily, then switched tactics and snatched up Arthur’s hand. “Looks like I’ll just have to be more romantic than a dead tree.”_

_Arthur couldn’t hold back his chuckles. “Are you sure you’re up to the challenge?”_

_“For your heart? Nothing could stop me.”_

_“You sap.” Arthur pulled his hand back and used it to cover his ever-reddening face. “I don’t know how you can sprout such stuff with a straight face.”_

_Alfred just grinned and hummed as he stretched his own hand across the table so he could run his fingertips over Arthur’s arm. “It’s your fault. I just love you so much that I can’t help it.”_

_Lowering his hand, Arthur placed it over Alfred’s. “I love you too, you know.”_

_“I know.” Alfred’s eyes slid over to the flower shop and he smiled. “Hang on a sec? I wanna get you something.”_

_Arthur followed his gaze and nodded, releasing him. “Alright. Hurry back to me.”_

_The American grinned more brightly and dipped down to press a kiss to the top of Arthur’s unruly hair as he passed him. He’d walked halfway to the flower shop when the building he was passing exploded._

_Arthur watched in horror as his body was flung across the street. His heart stopped. His mind stopped. Time stopped. Everything seemed to stop as he watched Alfred crumple to the ground and then he was running. The building was on fire but Arthur didn’t care as he skidded to a stop next to Alfred and fell to his knees. His skin scraped against the pavement and his vision blurred as he took in all the blood._

_It seeped from Alfred’s face and neck and side where bits of rubble had struck him. The left side of his shirt was already coloured red, and through tears in the fabric, Arthur could see places where his skin had been burned. Alfred’s chest was heaving and his hands scrabbled against the ground as he tried reaching for Arthur. One of his legs was bent at an unnatural angle._

_“Art- Arth…ur, Art, please-”_

_“I- I’m here.” Arthur took hold of his hands and gripped on as tightly as possible as the tears slid down his face. “I’m here, love, I’m right here I’m not going anywhere.” His voice was shaky and he couldn’t take in enough breath so he just hunched over Alfred’s body and shoved his face against the uninjured side of Alfred’s neck. “I’m here, I’m not leaving you. Everything’s going to be okay.”_

_“Hurts,” Alfred whispered, and his breaths rattled in the air._

_“I know, but you’re going to be okay.” Arthur heard a crowd gathering behind them and people shouting something at him, but he ignored them and pressed further against Alfred. He only hoped that someone had called an ambulance._

_Sirens filled the air not five minutes later, and then someone was trying to pull him away. Though he screamed and tried to cling onto Alfred for as long as possible, Arthur was soon overpowered by the paramedics and kept away as they loaded him up into the back of the ambulance. Only then was Arthur released, and no one stopped him as he rushed in after Alfred. He held Alfred’s hand the entire ride to the hospital, not taking his eyes off of Alfred’s face, and reluctantly let go once they’d arrived._

_“You will have to wait out here, sir,” the nurse told him once they’d reached the main hall of the hospital. She gestured to the waiting room and vanished down a hallway._

_Arthur looked after her for a moment and then slumped into one of the chairs. His hands were trembling and still streaked with Alfred’s blood. His mind was stuck on a loop, replaying everything over and over again, and his tears wouldn’t stop. He jolted when someone touched him and looked up into the eyes of a police officer._

_“English,” he rasped out after the man had said something to him._

_“Ah, pardon me. Will you come with me?” the officer asked in a heavily accented voice. “We need to hear what happened, and you should clean off.”_

_“I- I can’t leave, I have to be here for him-”_

_“He will be in surgery for a while. We will not leave the hospital. I need a few minutes of your time.”_

_After a moment’s hesitation, Arthur nodded. The officer led him first into the bathroom where he washed the blood off his face and arms, and then into a small room off to the side of the hospital. Arthur gave him all of the details he knew about Alfred, himself, and what had happened. The process took nearly an hour, and by the end of it he was shaking and couldn’t sit still._

_“Thank you for your cooperation,” the officer said once he had finished taking his notes down. “You are free to return to the waiting room. I will call if we find anything.”_

_“Thank you,” Arthur whispered._

_He walked back to the waiting room as if in a dream. He didn’t feel anything- couldn’t feel anything, couldn’t believe this was his reality. He sat in the very corner of the room and picked at his fingers until they were bloody again, then wrapped his hands in a tissue and clenched them until he’d lost feeling in them. Time seemed to pass both too quickly and not at all. He didn’t know how long he’d sat there when a man in a suit approached him._

_“Mr. Kirkland?” This man had an American accent._

_“Yes?” Arthur raised his head slowly._

_“I’m from the embassy. I came to get a report and found out… I’m so sorry, Mr. Kirkland.”_

_The blood drained from Arthur’s face. “Wh- What?”_

_“No one has come to tell you yet? Mr. Jones, the surgery got complicated and…he didn’t make it. You have my condolences.”_

_“What? No, that- That can’t be right-”_

_“I’m sorry, Mr. Kirkland.”_

_“I want to see a doctor I need to- That can’t be right he can’t be dead. It’s not true!” Arthur stumbled to his feet and somehow found his way across the reception to the main desk. “I need- A status report on Alfred F. Jones, please, I was told he- That can’t be true!”_

_It took a moment for the nurse to get the gist of his words. “One moment, I will call.” As she spoke on the phone, her face became more drawn, and when she finally put it down, her eyes were full of sympathy. “I am sorry. Mr. Jones has passed away due to complications that arose during surgery.”_

_“No…” Arthur whispered, and his legs threatened to give out again. He held onto the counter tightly to keep upright. “C-Could I at least see the…him?”_

_“I’m sorry. That won’t be possible at this time. You should go home. If you need to see a grief counsellor-”_

_Arthur turned away sluggishly. He didn’t know how he made it out of the hospital, or even to the apartment. The second wave of tears only hit when he closed the door and saw Alfred’s things spread around; his t-shirt on the back of the couch, his coat and umbrella by the door, his extra pair of shoes beside Arthur’s. Arthur sank to the floor and curled up against the door and sobbed._

 

* * *

Present

* * *

 

Arthur didn’t have time to react when the gun went off. A cry wrenched itself from his throat as he stared at the man he loved and thought he’d lost those years ago. His knees buckled and he sank to the ground, unable to draw a proper breath.

“Al- Alfred, oh God…”

Tears continued to slide down his cheeks and his chest heaved, ripped open again both by the sight of his lover and the gun in his hands. Though Arthur had fantasized about Alfred somehow surviving, about there being a mistake, their reunion had not looked like this. Never like this.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“Why?” was all he managed to get out before his vision went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fishy embassy man is fishy.
> 
> This was mainly a transition chapter. BUT! I actually have the third part written out so it will be put up more quickly this time! However, that's also all I have written at the moment so please don't expect any sort of set-in-stone update schedule with this fic.
> 
> I have no idea what I'm doing : ))
> 
> Alternate name for this chapter: Did Arthur Get Shot Or Not Part 2 with a side helping of Wow It Sounds Very Much Like He Got Shot And Died RIP.


	3. Part 3

_“Is it done?”_ The voice over the earpiece sounded calmer now.

“Yeah. It’s done.”

_“Good. Return to the pick-up point. Someone will come for you in fifteen minutes. We’ll send the disposal crew-”_

“I’ll get rid of the body myself.” Though his head was still pulsing and spinning, Alfred’s thoughts felt like they were going at over a hundred miles per hour. “And I’ll get back myself.”

_“…Why?”_

“The less trucks turn up here, the better.”

Silence for a moment. Then, finally, _“Very well. We’ll have a debriefing once you get back, Eagle. Stay cautious.”_

The connection severed again, and Alfred let out a sigh. After a moment, he plucked the earpiece from his ear and dropped it, crushing it beneath his heel. He tucked the gun away and knelt next to Arthur’s body. Just unconscious, and when he felt around the back of Arthur’s head, there didn’t seem to be any open injury from where he’d hit the ground.

“Who are you?” he whispered, tracing a thumb across the other man’s cheek.

**Pulse.**

Flinching, Alfred pulled his hand back and covered his eyes. All he had for now was the name and that one image, but just from that he could infer that Arthur had been important to him. So why couldn’t he remember anything? Why had he been sent to kill him?

Beyond the alleyway, someone laid on their car horn as they sped past. The sound jolted Alfred from his thoughts and he glanced around. There was no time to waste. Solving the puzzle could wait until they were both somewhere safer.

A search of Arthur’s pockets produced a cell phone, and lucky for him, the lock on it was a biometric one. He pressed first Arthur’s right thumb to the reader, then his left, and after three tries he was in. Opening up the dial pad, he typed out a number he’d long ago memorized, but had never had to call before.

The phone was picked up after two rings. “Who is this?” a voice asked suspiciously.

“Gil. It’s me. I need to call in that favour now.”

“…Alfred? Dude, you’ve been radio silent for like two years now.”

“I know. I didn’t wanna put you at risk. But I need your help right now. This is…big.”

Gilbert whistled. “How much deep shit did you land yourself into, man?”

“A whole bunch.” **Pulse.** “Ah- fuck. There’s not much time before they get suspicious of me. I need three things from you.”

“Three?” Gilbert snorted. “What happened to one favour?”

“It’s all part of the same thing, but Jesus, if it’s that much then I’ll owe you two afterwards.”

“…This is serious, isn’t it?”

“That’s what I said!”

“Right, well give me the low-down first, and then I’ll see if I can help you.”

Alfred couldn’t help glancing down to Arthur again. “I was sent after this guy. Pretty normal, doesn’t seem to be tied to any agencies or anything. But when I saw him it was like someone took a jackhammer to my skull and he recognized me and…I think we were together. Before. Everything’s fuzzy and he’s out cold and I need to get him out.”

“…Okay. Are you sure? That you know him from before?”

“Yeah, I-” **Pulse.** “ _Fuck_ , every time I look at him for too long it’s like another blow to my head.”

“That’s not a good thing, dude.”

“I think it might be. It’s like something’s trying to break out.”

“Right. Weird. What do you want from me, exactly?”

“Okay, so first I need a safe house in NYC. For at least two nights, maybe more. Then, I need you to find out everything you can on Arthur Kirkland and send it to me. The third thing…that’s gonna have to wait until I find out more. But if you can start laying the groundwork for an Out with a capital ‘o’, I’d appreciate it.”

Gilbert took in a breath. “You want out? _You_? Mr. Patriotic? Yeah, I think something’s trying to break out, and that’s your sanity.”

“Gil.” Alfred gritted his teeth. “This is important. He’s important, I can feel it.”

“They finally yanked your chain too hard, huh?” Gilbert teased, but there was an undercurrent of sympathy in his tone.

“…Yeah, I guess so. Can you help or not?” Alfred closed his eyes and rubbed at his left shoulder to try and ease the pounding in his head. He listened to the faint typing over the phone as he waited for Gilbert to get back to him.

“You’re in luck, but you’ll be on real thin ice. Ludwig’s doing his PhD over there now so he and Feli got an apartment. If you tell me where you are I’ll text him to pick you up. But I’m telling you straight up- if anything happens to either of them because of you, I’ll kill you myself. So cover your tracks if you’re going AWOL.”

Alfred swallowed and gripped the phone more tightly. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to them. But are you sure? It doesn’t feel good involving them in this mess.”

“Of course it doesn’t, but that’s the only safe house I’ve got for you there. Take it or leave it.”

“I’m gonna owe you big time for this, Gil.”

Gilbert just laughed. “You bet you will. That’ll be nice for me, I’m sick as shit of owing you for the past two and a half years. Plus I’m saving yours and Arthur’s lives if it goes well, so when he gets up to speed he’d better be fucking grateful too.”

“I’m sure he will be.” Alfred cracked open his eyes and glanced down at Arthur’s face. **Pulse.** He winced and looked away, then quietly relayed their coordinates.

“Cool,” Gilbert said a few moments later. “Luddy’s on his way. Feli’s with him. You’re looking for a tall blond guy and a scrawny brunet.”

“Thanks. Gil, I-” Alfred paused and gritted his teeth. He had no idea what the hell he was doing. He’d never defected before, but the thought of killing Arthur was just too much for him to bear. “I really mean it.”

Gilbert was quiet for a moment. “…Yeah. Call me when you get your brain unscrambled, or in like a day. I’ll let you know what I’ve found then.” He hung up.

Alfred slowly lowered the phone from his ear. He let out a deep breath and stared down at the home screen. Behind the apps was a picture of a cat, the small cat from his vision. Or rather, memory, probably.

**Pulse.**

Eyeing the text app, he opened it and glanced for anything relating to ‘work’ or ‘boss’. The most recent thread was to someone named Liz and they talked about stock and opening and locking up. After scrolling up through the conversation to get a feel for how Arthur texted, he fired off a single message.

_A sudden personal emergency came up. I won’t be able to return to work for the next few days. I’ll keep you updated._

The response came through not a minute later. _Okay! I’ll cover for you, but you’d better tell me everything soon!_

Once he’d slipped the phone back into Arthur’s pocket, he looked around and tried to figure out the best way to transport Arthur so it wouldn’t raise suspicion. His eyes landed on a few cardboard boxes, slightly soggy from being exposed to the elements for a while, and he tugged one over. After some fiddling, he managed to get it upright and lowered Arthur’s bent body into it. It wasn’t comfortable or the best solution, but it was all he had.

A few minutes later, a car slowed on the street and backed into the alleyway. Alfred flipped the top of the cardboard box closed and stood up, one hand moving to rest on the butt of one of his guns. The car stopped about ten feet away from him and the front doors opened. Two men got out, one tall and blond, the other skinny and brunet. Alfred didn’t relax.

The blond man stopped when he was about seven feet away from Alfred, and sidestepped so he was between the assassin and the brunet. “You’re Alfred Jones?” he asked shortly.

“Alfred F. Jones, actually. You’re Luddy and Feli?”

At that, the blond man relaxed. He nodded. “Yes. I’m Ludwig Beilschmidt. This is my partner, Feliciano.” Ludwig looked around, his brows furrowing. “Gil said there was someone else…?”

Alfred moved his hands away from his body and gestured to the box. “In there. He’s out cold, and no matter how you look at it, three guys dragging someone’s body to their car would look suspicious. Help me get him in your trunk? The box is close to falling apart.”

Though Feliciano’s face had paled, he was the first to move forward, darting around Ludwig’s body and kneeling by the box. “He’s just out cold? You’re sure he’s okay otherwise?” Though his fingers slipped under the top flap of the box, he didn’t open it.

“Yeah. There’s no blood that I can see, and his breathing is steady.”

“Good. I’ll examine him more properly when we get home,” Feliciano said, giving Alfred a bright smile. “Luddy, help him out! I can barely get the groceries from the car to our door.” He laughed and stepped away to open the trunk of the car.

Ludwig came forward as well, crouching by the box and taking in all of the weak spots. “Alfred,” he said lowly.

Alfred’s shoulders tensed. “Yeah?”

“I’m sure Gilbert has already told you, but if anything happens to Feliciano because of this…”

“You’ll gut me, yeah. Though Gil’s threat included you, too.” Alfred ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t have a concrete plan, I’ll admit to that, but if anything happens to you because of me, I’ll gladly let you do whatever you want. If there was another option I’d take it.”

Ludwig watched him with a steady gaze. “As long as you know.”

“I do. And hey, I bet you could break me without even trying too hard, I mean look at those biceps.” Alfred whistled and tried a laugh. “You’ll have to show me your workout routine.”

“Luddy is _very_ strong,” Feliciano chirped, skipping over to them. “Once, he held me up against the wall for _twenty_ -”

“Feliciano!” Ludwig’s voice sounded half-strangled, and heat had shot up to his face.

Alfred burst out laughing and actually had to sit down so he wouldn’t lose his balance. “Oh man, oh my God, you should see your face! I’ll take your word for it.”

Ludwig just huffed and picked up the box as if it weighed nothing. “Enough. Are you coming in the car too?”

At that, Alfred took in a few deep breaths and grew serious. “No. Tell me your address and I’ll get there sometime tonight. If I’m defecting, might as well do it properly and throw them off the trail.”

Ludwig nodded to Feliciano as he placed the box in the trunk. The brunet scurried off to the front seat while Ludwig turned back to Alfred. “And if Arthur wakes before you’re back?”

“Do whatever you can to keep him there. If he says anything about me, tell him it’s true, that it was me. But…” Alfred frowned and glanced down at the floor. “Tell him my head’s real scrambled so I might not be the way he remembers me.”

“This is very serious, isn’t it?” Ludwig asked quietly.

Alfred gave him a half-hearted smile. “Yeah. Like, world-shatteringly serious. That’s why I have to be careful. I really am sorry that I have to drag you into this.”

Ludwig let out a breath as he closed the back of the car. “You saved my brother’s life. I guess I feel I owe you just a little bit too.” Feliciano tossed something to him with a flash of silver, and when he held out his hand to Alfred, a single key sat in the centre of it. “Here. Less suspicious if you have the key. The code to the downstairs door is engraved on the side because Feli keeps forgetting it.”

“Thanks.” Alfred pocketed the key with a nod. “I’ll see you guys tonight.”

“See you tonight,” Ludwig said before turning and walking to the driver’s seat, while Feliciano leaned out the window and waved.

**Pulse.**

Alfred winced and rubbed at his temples as he watched the car drive slowly away. He raised a hand in return, then sighed and slumped against a nearby wall, right where he’d fired the bullet into not half an hour earlier. He tilted his head back, allowing it to hit the brick gently, and stared up at the sky.

Just what had he done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly getting somewhere now.


	4. Part 4

Arthur came to in an unfamiliar bed. Warmth was the first thing he felt, practically smothering his whole body. He realized he was laying down when his eyes were still closed, and when he moved his fingers ever so slightly, he could feel the soft slip of a mattress against his skin.

Everything slammed into him all at once.

Alfred.

The gun.

The shot, the bullet that had passed not a foot from his side.

His stomach dropped and his whole body tensed up, though when he tried to actually move his limbs, he found himself unrestrained. Some of the panic left him then, though he still took a few minutes to just breathe before daring to inch his eyes open.

He was in a simply furnished but warm room. A double bed, a nightstand, a desk and chair, a chest of drawers, a mirror against the wall. There were plants on the nightstand and desk and windowsill. The walls were painted a bright, sunny yellow, and there was a fluffy blanket with a tiger on it stretched over his body. His coat was slung neatly over the back of the chair.

There was nothing that inherently screamed ‘danger’ about the room, but Arthur was still cautious as he pulled the blanket and duvet away from his body. His clothes hadn’t been touched, and when he leaned over the edge of the bed, his shoes were neatly placed on the floor beside it. A glass of water stood on the nightstand. Arthur didn’t touch it as he stood up and crept towards the window.

A normal city view greeted him. He didn’t dare stand right in front of the window, but instead peeked out from the very corner. He saw a normal street with cars and people rushing down both sides of it. A tan apartment building stood across from the room he was in, about five storeys high. He estimated he was on the third floor of whatever building he was in. There was a grocery store on the corner, and a laundromat right next to it.

A gentle knock sounded at the bedroom door.

Arthur whipped around and froze. He held his breath as the door creaked open.

The man had a slight figure, perhaps even slighter than Arthur’s own, and hazel eyes that widened when he took in the empty bed. They swung to him quickly, and the man smiled. “Oh! You’re up, that’s good. How are you feeling?”

Arthur gripped the edge of the windowsill, but there was nothing to defend himself with unless he threw the cactus at the man. “Who are you? Where am I?”

“My name is Feliciano. I probably should have started with that, heh.” Feliciano tugged on a strand of hair sheepishly. “And you are in our apartment!”

“Our?”

“Yes! I live here with my partner, Luddy- ah, Ludwig.”

“Right.” Arthur’s knuckles were white. “Why am I here?”

At that, Feliciano’s smile dropped and he started worrying at his lip. “How much do you remember? From before?”

“I-”

“Feli? Is he up?” Another voice joined the conversation, and a taller, broader man stepped up behind Feliciano. Ludwig. His blue eyes narrowed when he took in Arthur’s position. “Get away from there.”

Arthur stiffened and his hand twitched towards the cactus before he ultimately drew it back to his body. “Why? And again, I’d like to know who the hell you two are and what I’m doing here.”

Ludwig put both of his hands up into the air. “We’ll tell you everything, but you have to get away from the window.”

“Why?” Arthur didn’t budge.

“You getting spotted now would defeat the purpose of this being a safe house.”

Arthur’s breath caught. “S-Safe house?” His legs felt weak and he tottered over to the bed before sinking to his knees next to it, his elbows on the blanket. The gunshot echoed in his head.

“Yes. On Alfred’s request.”

“ _Alfred_.” Arthur’s chest tightened and he felt an all too-familiar burn behind his eyes. “That was- That was real, then? Not some…dream, or nightmare?”

Ludwig shifted his weight from foot to foot. “We can’t say what happened between you two, but Alfred is very much real.”

“Where is he?”

“He hasn’t come here yet.”

Arthur’s fingers clenched in the sheets. “I want to see him. I need to see him.” He faintly heard footsteps across the floor but didn’t register anything until Feliciano’s arm encircled his shoulders.

“We wouldn’t keep him from you,” Feliciano said softly, his eyes brimming with sympathy. “He said he would make his own way here, and he hasn’t come in yet. But he will, I’m sure! He looked like he really cared about you.”

“He- He did?” Arthur’s eyes widened.

“Feli,” Ludwig said lowly from the door. “He told me to tell you that his head is mixed up inside right now and he might not be the way you remember him.” The big man sighed. “But. He had a very serious expression on his face. He was serious about protecting you.”

“Luddy, no need to be so blunt about it!” Feliciano pouted.

“No need to give him false hopes, either. The situation is what it is.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Arthur murmured.

Feliciano peered at his face closely. “Come on,” he suddenly declared. “You’re going through a lot. Are you hungry? Thirsty? There’s lasagne and we can make you tea or coffee if you want it.”

“I’m a little bit thirsty, I suppose.” Arthur felt as though he was wading through fog. Everything seemed distant, distorted. Safe houses and guns and blue eyes and gunshots carouselled through his mind until his stomach roiled. The room spun, and he leaned heavily on Feliciano as the other man helped him stand.

“Tea or coffee, then?” Feliciano chirped into his ear.

“Tea, please. Do you have anything herbal?”

Feliciano carefully steered him down the hallway to a small but cosy living room. “I think we have some kind of green tea?” he said as he helped Arthur sit down on the couch. He pulled a blanket over the blond’s body and ensured he was all but surrounded by pillows. “But I can run and get something else if you have a specific request!”

Arthur looked up at him with eyes that weren’t fully in the present. “Anything is fine. Don’t… Don’t strain yourself on my account.” He looked at the blanket and pillows incomprehensively, then wrapped his arms around a sky blue one with a kitten printed on it.

Feliciano’s brow furrowed as he pulled away, though he tried to keep his voice cheery. “It wouldn’t be a problem. I’ll go make you tea now, okay?” Once he was out of earshot, he turned wide eyes onto Ludwig. “He doesn’t look so good,” he whispered.

Ludwig peered at the couch for a moment and shrugged. “He’s overwhelmed. We can’t do anything except keep an eye on him until _he_ gets here.”

“I hope everything will be okay,” Feliciano whispered, playing nervously with his fingers.

Immediately, Ludwig was at his side with an arm around his shoulders. “Nothing will happen to you, Feli. I promise.”

Feliciano’s hand curled into Ludwig’s shirt. “To _us_. I don’t want anything to happen to you either, Luddy…”

“I know.” Ludwig gave him a quick squeeze before pushing him in the direction of the cupboards. “Go find a mug and a teabag.” He filled their kettle with water and turned it on, and also placed a portion of lasagne onto a plate to stick in the microwave.

Four minutes later, plate and mug were set on the coffee table in front of the couch. Arthur lifted his gaze at the soft clink and nodded his thanks to his hosts, but he didn’t reach out. Ludwig settled down on an armchair with a newspaper, and Feliciano was quick to plop himself down on the broader man’s lap and switch on the television to a nature documentary. Green and hazel eyes watched the screen for a few moments.

“Arthur. You should drink, and eat a little bit.” Feliciano offered him a smile. “You have to keep your strength up.”

“How do you know my name?” Arthur asked as he reached for the tea.

“Gilbert told us.”

Slim fingers stiffened around ceramic. “Who’s Gilbert?”

“My brother,” Ludwig answered. “He’s the one who arranged this safe house for you and Alfred.”

Flinching again at Alfred’s name, Arthur slowly brought the mug to his lips. “This all sounds very complex.”

“It is,” Ludwig said with a sigh as he put his newspaper aside. “To tell you the truth, we don’t know everything either. You’re not the only one waiting for answers from Alfred.”

“I’m sorry we’ve inconvenienced you so.”

“Arthur!” Feliciano chided. “It’s not an inconvenience! If it was, Luddy wouldn’t have agreed. Now eat!”

Arthur looked startled at the outburst and nearly dropped his tea. He gave a faint chuckle as he recovered and traded the mug for a fork. “Still. This isn’t nothing.”

“That could be said about the whole situation,” Ludwig muttered.

“I never imagined…this. Any of this,” Arthur said as he stared down at the plate. “When he first looked at me it was so cold. I never want him to look at me like that again, but if what you say is true then…” His breath hitched and he hugged the pillow harder with the one arm that was around it. “I don’t even know what to expect, or what to say.” He glanced to the pair across the room and bit his lip. “I’m sorry, this barely concerns you two.”

“Stop apologizing! And you’re in our house now, so of course it concerns us! Right, Luddy?”

“Yes,” Ludwig said, looking mildly uncomfortable. “I’m not the best with emotional stuff and I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to bottle everything up. I’ve read that that’s very unhealthy.”

“And I’m very good with emotional stuff, so you can always talk to me, okay?” Feliciano added, beaming over at Arthur. “And if you don’t feel well, tell me too! I’m a nurse so I can help with pretty much everything except surgery!”

“Thank you.” Arthur had just lifted a pasta-loaded fork to his mouth when the front door opened and Alfred stepped through it. The fork dropped from nerveless fingers as the two blonds stared at each other. “ _Alfred_ ,” he eventually choked out.

“Hey, Arthur.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gasph a reunion
> 
> hopefully this one will go better


	5. Part 5

* * *

Four Hours Earlier to Present

* * *

 

After allowing five minutes for his head to stop spinning and pulsing quite so much, Alfred slowly stood back up again. His hands were still trembling the slightest amount, but it wasn’t anything that would slow him down.

_Think, Alfred, think! What do you need to do?_

He started pacing. He would have to throw his handlers off his trail, that was for sure. The further off it, the better. But how? What was the best way for that? The moment they realized he’d gone rogue, they’d start questioning whether or not he actually carried out the mission too, if they weren’t suspicious already. They wouldn’t be able to stay in New York for long, they’d have to go somewhere else, but where-

Alfred’s head started spinning again and he punched the brick wall in frustration. He leaned against it, the rough stone scraping against his palms, and stared down at the ground. The corner of another soggy box caught his eye, and the moment he focused on it he thought of Arthur again and his mind careened into the past.

_He blinked, and Arthur was before him. A slightly different Arthur, younger-looking and happy. Those green eyes were full of warmth, and Arthur’s hands were cupping his cheeks._

_“If you keep scowling like that, it’ll stick,” Arthur murmured, his thumbs brushing against the skin beneath Alfred’s eyes._

_“That’s my line,” Alfred heard himself say._

_Arthur laughed. “Oh how the tables have turned. But really, love, you’ll wear yourself out if you stay up any longer.”_

_“I just can’t figure this thing out. There are so many variables and nothing’s fitting the way it should.”_

_“Hmm. Well if there’s too much in the big picture, then you should zoom in a little bit,” Arthur suggested. “Take it one section, one step at a time. You tend to try and solve everything at the same time, but slowing down is good too. I’m not sure if that’ll even work here, though, I don’t know too much about physics, but if you’re overwhelmed by it all, then perhaps a smaller approach would help.”_

_Alfred looked down at the laptop screen again, where numbers and variables and equations filled the document. “I think you might be onto something, Art!”_

_“Well I’m glad I could help. Half an hour more, and then come to bed, alright? I love you.” Arthur was smiling softly as he leaned in for a kiss._

Alfred gasped and pressed his forehead to the wall. His chest heaved and he touched his searing mouth with two fingers. Arthur had kissed him there, he remembered. That kiss had turned into another, and another, and then a final flurry all over his face before the Brit had retired to their bedroom. His mind ground to a halt after that, the rest of his memories refusing to come. His cheeks burned with heat at the thought of kissing Arthur, and his stomach squirmed pleasantly.

He then shook his head and pinched himself. He had to focus. _One section, one step at a time._ First, he had to get out of the alley.

Grabbing one of the remaining boxes, he tore up the rest and stuffed them inside, along with a few newspapers and other random bits that were scattered around the alleyway. Then it was the simplest thing to heft the box into his arms and walk away.

No one spared him a glance as he slipped into the foot traffic on the street.

He made sure to walk quickly, but not quickly enough that someone would get suspicious and think he was running from something. He slowed down a little bit whenever he passed a camera too- the box was supposed to hold a body, after all. The crowd was easy for him to work, and though there were a few close calls when someone almost bumped into him and the box, he avoided all collisions.

Twenty minutes walking was enough. He’d passed into a quieter neighbourhood, with fewer people in the streets, but still plenty of stores and alleyways with large dumpsters. His arms had been starting to ache, so he was glad to tip the box into one of the bins. When he turned around, there was an older man in the mouth of the alley, a few black bags in his hands.

“You new around here?”

“Yeah, sort of. I live around the corner but…” Alfred jerked his thumb at the dumpster. “Ex’s stuff. Didn’t want that too near me, or for them to find it.”

“Ah.” The man smiled a little bit. “I get you. I’ll keep your secret.”

Alfred very much doubted he would if anyone came after him, but he smiled nonetheless. “Thanks, man. I’ll see you around.”

He slipped from the alley with ease and glanced around, his eyes drawn to a nearby park. There were a few people in it, two couples and a mother with a stroller, so Alfred crossed the street and dropped down onto a bench. He pulled out his phone and pretended to swipe through it.

 _Right, ‘body’ disposed of._ He could hear a garbage truck in the distance, so that would make the retrieval of the box harder for his handlers. _What next?_

The tracker in the phone he was currently playing with. He didn’t like the thought of being without a phone, though he supposed hopefully Arthur would allow him to borrow his phone occasionally. Arthur…

**Pulse.**

Right. No thinking down those lines for now.

The phone was the only tracker he had on him, he was certain of that, so theoretically all he had to do was slip it into someone’s bag or backpack and let them take his handlers on a merry little chase. But whose bag mattered.

LaGuardia airport was the closest. JFK had more international flights so would have been better with the chances of his phone ending up out of the country, but he didn’t have enough time to make the trip out there and back. The moment he started this next step, the clock would be against him.

He counted the money in his wallet and stood up, heading for the street. Before flagging down a taxi, he ducked into a few stores, but within fifteen minutes he was in the cab on the way to the airport. It had been nearly an hour since his supposed kill, and right on time, his phone started buzzing in his pocket as his handlers called for an update.

His leg started bouncing in the confined space, and he tried to ignore the growing jitters in his stomach as he let the phone buzz out. They called again, twice more, and then nothing. Alfred was nearly at the airport now. He knew they’d be checking the tracker, sending out a retrieval team.

He really, really hoped Arthur was worth it all.

**_P u l s e._ **

“Fuck-” he muttered under his breath, clenching his hands at his sides.

The cab pulled up to the drop-off area. Alfred pressed a few bills into the driver’s hand and slipped from the car. He took a deep breath to steady himself, then plunged into the crowd, keeping his head down to avoid all the cameras he could.

He would have wanted to slip the phone into someone’s bag after security, but there was no way he was getting through the gates with his guns and knives. Still, for security he headed, and along the way smoothly slipped the phone into the open compartment of a frat boy’s duffel bag. He had no idea what the final destination was, but the transfer at LAX jumped out at him, and from the way the guy was arguing with the person at security, he was a little late for his flight.

With the phone taken care of, he changed direction and slipped into the men’s bathroom with a group of four other people. After locking himself into one of the stalls, he shrugged off the newly-purchased backpack and rummaged around inside. Wig and contacts from the beauty supply store, a fresh change of clothes from H&M. He changed and popped the wig on while he waited for the other men in the bathroom to cycle through until no one who had seen him come in was left. When he was able to, he stepped out and slipped the contacts in, shoving his glasses into one of the backpack pockets. He looked at himself.

Red-brown hair, red eyes, ripped jeans, fake motorcycle jacket.

Not the best disguise, but different enough to hopefully get him out of there.

The new clothes didn’t allow him to keep all of his guns out and concealed, so he reluctantly stowed his double holster into the backpack as well, leaving him with his pistol and his knives.

The frat boy was also gone from security by the time Alfred left the bathroom, this time among the company of six laughing tourists, so he figured his tracker was well on its way. He hunched his head down and walked calmly outside.

As he was going through the doors, two men in suits pushed past him and ran into the airport. They didn’t spare him a second glance.

Alfred hailed down a second cab and breathed a small sigh of relief once they’d left the airport behind them. He had given this driver an address a few streets down from Ludwig and Feliciano’s house, both as an extra precaution and just so he could clear his head before facing everything. He took off the wig and cautiously plucked out the contacts as they neared the Brooklyn neighbourhood.

“Thanks, man.” He gave the taxi driver most of the rest of his money, along with a friendly smile as he got out and shut the door.

He sighed as the car zoomed off. It had gotten to the part of the afternoon where everything was orange-tinted and just bright. It all made Alfred’s head pound more, so he sank into the first park bench he came across just to breathe for a few minutes and hold his head in his hands. He didn’t dare stay out in the open for too long, however, and forced himself up again before long.

It took him less time than he would have liked to find the right apartment block. He glanced down at the key a few times before he reached the door to memorize the code, and entered without a hitch. There was no elevator, but that was fine. Alfred could take his time on the stairs.

He still paused for an extra moment in front of the front door. Arthur was there. Arthur Arthur Arthur Arthur-

**_P U L S E._ **

He gritted his teeth and clenched his hand around the key as he waited for the throbbing to pass.

Alfred finally forced it into the lock and swung the door open. His eyes flickered momentarily to the television, to Ludwig with Feliciano on his lap, before his attention was deflected by the clatter of silverware against ceramic.

Arthur had that same shocked look on his pale face as before. His mouth opened and closed once, twice. Then, “ _Alfred_ ,” in that strangled tone.

Alfred gave him a small smile. “Hey, Arthur.”

His vision blurred.

_He closed the door, setting the dripping umbrella down on the welcome mat and allowing his bag to drop to the floor with a wet thud. “Hey, Arthur,” he called into the dim flat._

_“In the bath!” came the muted reply. “I just got in five minutes ago, come join me?”_

_Some of his tiredness seemed to lift right off his shoulders at that, and he eagerly trekked further into their home. He shed his damp outer layers along the way as well, something that Arthur was sure to scold him for later, but for the moment, he didn’t care. The light was on in the bathroom, the door cracked open. Alfred closed it once he’d entered, and shucked his pants off before turning to face the tub._

_Arthur’s eyes raked up and down his body appreciatively. “Hello, love. Welcome home.”_

_“And what a pretty sight to be welcomed with, you laid out and waiting for me,” Alfred replied with a laugh. He prowled closer, sinking to his knees at the edge of the tub and reaching for one of Arthur’s arms. He kissed across the milky skin, lathing his tongue against the faint dampness caught there._

_“I’m hardly ‘laid out for you’, you make it sound like I’m sprawled on the bed surrounded by rose petals,” Arthur said with a snort._

_“No, but as an aside, can that happen for Valentine’s Day?” Alfred’s grin only widened as Arthur rolled his eyes._

_“Silly boy,” Arthur told him affectionately, and reached out to tug on his hair a little bit. “Come on, come join me.”_

_Alfred didn’t have to be coaxed again. He stepped into the bath, settling between Arthur’s legs and leaning down to hungrily kiss at his lips._

“-red! Alfred, are you alright?”

He was swaying, falling, but before he could hit the ground, strong arms caught him around the waist and steadied him. Though his instinct was to reach for his gun, or a knife, he recognized Ludwig’s voice in his ear and stopped himself before he could follow that instinct. “I’m…fine?”

“You’re clearly not!” Feliciano appeared before him, honey eyes wide with worry. “What’s wrong?”

“Head,” Alfred mumbled, closing his eyes.

“Ludwig, get him to bed. There’s no way any talking can happen when he’s in this state.”

“That’s alright.” A new voice joined in. Quiet. Smooth. “I think I need a moment myself.”

**Pulse.**

“Ngh-” Alfred groaned and screwed his face up in pain.

He could dimly feel himself getting moved, then tucked into bed with his jacket, shoes, and weapons removed. Ludwig didn’t comment on the finds, and Alfred didn’t have the strength to look up to see his reaction. He did hear a drawer closing though, and then smaller hands on his forehead.

“Alfred, it’s me. I have some pain medicine for you, and a glass of water. Could you down them? I’ll help you, here.”

He opened his mouth for the medicine and nearly choked on the water, but with Feliciano’s help, got them both down. The blanket was tucked up to his chin, and Feliciano’s fingers brushed the hair away from his forehead. The blinds were swished closed, presumably by Ludwig since Feliciano was still touching him.

The darkness felt better against his face, and he could crack his eyes open a little bit. “Thank you,” he murmured.

Feliciano’s mouth stretched up in a small, nervous smile. “It’s alright, Alfred. Rest. You’re safe for now, Arthur is safe, and you can sort it out in the morning.”

“Alright.” His head gave a faint _pulse_ at Arthur’s name, but the darkness and medicine helped. Alfred allowed himself to slip away into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter.
> 
> The Big Talk will happen next time, I promise!


End file.
